Holy shit.

I've been gone FOREVER.

And it took a snarky comment on my GJ for me to finally look back.

Jesus Christ. I feel like a total bitch.

Mel even remembered my BIRTHDAY D:

I suppose I should come clean with you guys.

I've been leading a second life. Somewhat. Technically, THIS is my mistress account. Or one of them. Kinda.

Let me start from the beginning. A long, long, time ago I was a Neopets user called lovepuppi. I had a little posse of friends, and we had a guild, and I RP'ed with them constantly. I was close with 1 of them, a bit too close. We fought constantly, and I think we could go months without speaking to one another. Finally, last December, I threw up my hands and left for good. I talked to her a few months ago, which only lasted for about a week before another argument came along.

People never change.

I had a different name as well. Tinker's kind of a gay name, I came up with it just to make a new Neopets account and still have an active social life. Actually, since the age of ten, I've been called Flipper.

So I created my uglyswan account and started actively RP'ing again. Once I met some decent roleplayers I was on Neo less and less frequently. I haven't been on since August, to be honest.

I met you guys, and then... I felt whole again. Like I belonged. I loved talking to you all.

And then I started feeling guilty again, so I created a LiveJournal account, beautiful_spine. Originally it was just for my fanfifctions, but as I grew further and further away from the friends here I became more and more attatched to my new LiveJournal account. Finally I left you guys for good, addicted to LJ, with no warning. I'll admit, what I said wasn't a complete lie - I was still having home problems and was having trouble adjusting to high school.

I made new friends on LJ, and just recently, one of them disappeared out of the blue, with no warning. Her LJ account was deleted. I complained about it on my GreatestJournal (also under the name beautiful_spine) and said how worried about her I was, and got a creepy comment about karma and how I left people without warning as well.

It got me thinking - how would you guys feel?

So, here I am, finally explaining the truth.

I feel like shit. I wanna shoot myself in the head for what I've done.

So anyway. If you wanna reach me and you're still not hating me-

AIM: almost phantom
LiveJournal: [link]
GreatestJournal: [link]
My new DA (which sucks even worse than this one): [link]
Fanfiction.net: [link]
YouTube: [link]
Myspace: [link]

I'm still as dorky as ever, by the way. In case you were wondering.

God. I feel so bad. I'm fucking crying right now. If you're all mad at me, I understand. I understand completely.

Holy fuck.

I'm such a bitch.